Jorge 的个人资料Medico Musings照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
|
12月26日 Thank you for your e-mailsChristmas has come and gone, and hopefully all of you have survived the caloric indulgences along with the stresses holidays can bring. We enjoyed our Christmas dinner with family and friends. At last count, no one in attendance had succumbed to my cooking, no harsh words were uttered, and everyone seems to have found their cars, so we successfully navigated yet another holiday gala. True, our singing left a bit to be desired, not so much in volume as in tonal quality, so the Viennese Boys Choir can breathe easy, secure in their jobs for another year. As the year draws rapidly to a close, I thought I'd share the following with you to counterbalance all the pundits who hold forth at this time of the year.
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........ I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa has granted my every wish. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan . Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with a low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late 评论 (23)
引用通告此日志的引用通告 URL 是： http://gferenczi.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!7BC5E2A074F93EA7!4487.trak 引用此项的网络日志
|
|
|
