Medical Terms for the Lay Public – (I to V)

Based on your recent positive response to my last offering on this topic, here are some more daffynitions for your (hopeful) amusement.

Impotent – distinguished or well know.

Kaopectate – a former boxer.

Labor pains – getting hurt at work.

Liver – bon vivant.

Myopia – not your opia.

Neuritis – early stage of olditis.

Oral thermometer for use on TV evangelists.

Pap smear – a political attack ad against Mr. Pap.

Pelvis – cousin to Elvis.

Physiology – study of carbonated beverages.

Plastic surgery – operation paid for by credit card.

Polyps – where you kiss Paul.

Recovery room – a place to do upholstery.

Red cells – a prison in the former USSR.

Retractor – a politician who denies what he said.

Scalpel – what Custer lost at Little Big Horn.

Seizure – a famous Roman emperor.

Shingles – unmarried “drunkshs.”

Terminal illness – getting sick at the airport.

Triglyceride – a monster form Jurassic park.

Tubal ligation – suing the Lincoln Tunnel.

Ultrasound – the Big Bang.

Vital signs – warnings at dangerous crossings.

And my thanks go out to Gelert848 who offered:

Enema - someone who is against you.

Tachycardia - cheap birthday card.

As well as to Coboro, who came up with:

Duodenum - two pairs of jeans.

Triage - when you pin the whole damn tree on her bosom.

Yeast Infection - flat beer.

Sample - enough pee.

Contusion - when you're not sure where you got that black eye.