A Dictionary of Anhedonia

Quite simply:

Sleep is the meaning of life.

Resisting gravity becomes a bad idea.

Creative thought concludes a bathrobe is a wardrobe.

Sudden insight notes that no one needs to shave.

Existential choice puzzles between coffee now or later.

Discovery sighs that baby powder does cool the flaming creases.

Making love is staying on your own side of the bed.

Simultaneous orgasm yawns and stretches at the same time.

Social conscience smells your armpits.

Civic responsibility keeps your arms down.

Working out is a productive round-trip to the bathroom.

Anticipation waits for your dog to check if you’re breathing.

Breakthrough gets up at eleven.

Relapse goes to bed by eight.

Optimism believes you’ll think of something you can do.

Pessimism remembers that you don’t do it well.

Fear guesses you might be made of glass.

Hope insists you will respect yourself again.

Faith knows faith is still out there somewhere offering itself to you.

Love bets the love surrounding you is just enough to contain your reasons to die.

John Graber

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful  animals!" he said to himself. 
 
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. 
 
He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground.  He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top  of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out to the Lord. Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent. A bright  light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian  now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.
 
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:
 
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive through Christ our Lord, Amen." 

Happiness – A Personal View

For all of you who have weighed in on this topic, thank you. I appreciate the varied points of view you have presented, and by doing so, how you have enriched our dialogue. I promised earlier to share with you my personal view of happiness. What follows, then, is not the result of scientific study, published research, nor the cumulative wisdom of the ages. Rather, it’s the singular view of one man, shaped by the forces that have converged to create his point of view concerning happiness.

Happiness to me is a byproduct of harmony in my life, rather than a goal in itself. I believe meaning in life comes from having something worthwhile to do, someone to love, someplace to call home. I have been given a few talents, and employing them for the benefit of my patients gives me great satisfaction. Having conversation with friends over a shared meal, being involved with my community, making new connections with people I yet don’t know helps to enrich my life. Living in the moment with my family, being aware of the natural beauty that daily surrounds us, sharing my life with another whose caring and love is beyond question is a gift that I never take for granted, but I daily appreciate.

Sometimes, when someone mistakes my height for maturity and my gray hair for wisdom, I’m asked the question “What is the secret of happiness?” The answer is “diminish your expectations.” Too many of us have a sense of entitlement, as if life and the world owed us something, when in fact, the opposite holds true.

I find that beauty is often found in silence, and the sound of too much joy drives it away. The sense of harmony we achieve comes when our actions are congruent with our beliefs, our rhythms in sync with the flow of life.

I share the viewpoint that music holds a magical place in life, capable of evoking peace from turmoil, satisfaction from disquiet, triumph from despair. The landscapes of nature create an ever-changing palate that nurtures the soul of those willing to see.

Finally, I agree that happiness is not a destination, but a place we periodically visit. Those who desire to dwell there always are doomed to disappointment.           

Happiness Is A Serious Problem

My thanks to all of you who have weighed in on the happiness issue. Most of you have argued for building success on one’s personal strengths, and I, as well as most of the research in this field supports this viewpoint. (Some of you also questioned the dualism of choosing between weakness and strength, claiming you have to pay attention to both sides of the coin.) Interestingly, about 75% of survey respondents feel that working on a person’s weakness is more important than building on their strengths. This predisposition may be the result of evolutionary forces that have made us very sensitive to danger or pain. We seem hard wired to pay more attention to risk and pain than the prospect of positive reward.

Scientists have theorized that evolutionary outcomes of natural selection have given us our attraction to beauty. But when they investigated if beautiful people are happier than their counterparts, the surprising answer was no. As the current theory goes, we didn’t evolve for happiness; we evolved for survival and reproduction. Negative emotions like fear help us survive individually; positive emotions like joy help the community to survive.

We think we want to be happy all the time, but the fact is that an emotion, like happiness, is a primitive signaling system. They are how your brain tells you if the things you’re doing are enhancing or diminishing your chances of survival. Emotions are supposed to fluctuate. You’re not supposed to stay on “happy” during an earthquake. Happiness is a place to visit, not a place to live.

A lot of studies have shown that people fare reasonably well in a variety of tragic circumstances. I’ve known a number of happy paraplegics, and the biggest problem that many people with physical handicaps have is the assumption of others that because they are handicapped, they must also be sad or angry. That’s not saying that people aren’t devastated when they first lose a part of their function like their sight. But the point is that feeling doesn’t last. The human mind is designed to make the best of the situations in which it finds itself. 

Dennis Prager, who’s book title I’ve borrowed for this piece, postulates that what many people lack are: 1) The awareness that what will make them happy demands a great deal of thought. 2) The self-discipline to overcome their natural inclination to do what is most pleasurable at the moment rather than what is most happiness inducing, and 3) The wisdom to consistently answer the question “Will this make me happier or unhappier?”

I’ve thrown a lot of different ideas out at you regarding happiness. Based on your initial thoughtful responses, I eagerly await your feedback.